If it's too loud, then you're too old!

This year seems to be gradually getting better! I've been waaaay busy with concerts since June and a lot of them have been great. I've been introduced to a new group that I follow now called Love and Theft! My boyfriend's sister won tickets through the radio station in Rockford to perform exclusively for like 100 people! It was so awesome, got to meet them and take a picture too!! I can't wait for thier debut cd to come out August 25th. Next concert we went to was Kenny Chesney's stadium show at Soldier field. Saw Luke Bryan outside of the stadium the afternoon before the show and he was soooo good that I just wanted to stay there and watch him play! I finally got my cd signed too! The weekend after that we went to Joe's bar to see Love and Theft and Billy Currington. It was so cool to see Love and Theft play with a full band instead of just thier guitars. Personally I liked thier acoustic set better!

All of a sudden it feels like something just died inside of me and I don't know why. Am I depressed? Dave is over at his friend Mike's right now. I was going to go with but all of a sudden started feeling like this and didn't want to go over there anymore. I didn't want Dave to go because I feel like he can keep me sane and happy. But he went anyway which leaves me all alone in the apartment to wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I've been ok for a while but like all of a sudden I feel like complete shit. Like I've fallen down a hole and I can't climb out easily. It's just wierd. Like I don't have any feeling anymore, everything has gone numb. I don't know what to do.....how to connect with myself again. I still don't understand it......hopefully I can figure this out! 

This year already isn't as fun as last year. It still can get better and it slowly but surely is. I had to work the night of the Keith Urban concert that I was looking forward to getting into. I read the reviews later and everyone was saying it was really amazing.....I had to work mandatory overtime, it was bullshit.....now since the quarter is done at work and we did well, we can take paid time off if we want tonight and tomorrow night! Of course I took them up on that offer, left early tonight and not going to work tomorrow. I just can't wait until April 18th, Nashville for the weekend!!! Then I have to wait until this summer for all my concerts, which kinda sucks. Also not sure if I can go to Dierks' fan club party this year. I would love to but not sure if I will be able to take that much time off with the new job and all. We got our easter candy tonight too from work. It was a box full and a bag......totally nuts. I guess they do that for halloween and christmas too!! I've already decided to make easter baskets for my family when I got see them for easter! But how will I get rid of the rest of the candy?!?!? I might be hyped up on sugar the rest of the time I work at Nestle, which hopefully will last a couple more years. I quit going to my class about a month ago and people at work are still asking me "How's school going". And I just lie to them......I feel bad about it but really is it any of thier business? I can't work a full time job and go to school at the same time. It just doesn't work when I want to have a life! I know what kind of career do I want to have? A fun one.....so therefore why should I go to school for something that's not fun? Something I'm not interested in? And it's all because I would make more money. Bullshit. I don't have to go to school to use my talents. I was thinking yesterday I should write a book. I'm not too sure about the plot though. I've been reading a lot of books lately. I just ordered some more that are sitting at the post office right now because I wasn't here to get them when the postman was here. Dave went to get them when I was at work and he said there was a long line.....so we will have to go tomorrow. He's probably one of the only people that understands how nuts I am. I even have him texting for Luke Bryan to come to Dekalb for this contest. I don't know what I would do without him. He has helped me with a lot of things lately. Like he was one of the paulbearers at my grandmas funeral. He took off almost two days of work so he could be there with me at the visitation and the funeral. When I told him about my struggle with school he said it was ok, and that it wasn't my calling. When I started reading like a maniac, he bought more books too. He told me reading makes me remember more. I believe it! Writing like this also makes me feel more creative. I kind of wrote lyrics to a song last week, and I already forgot what it was about! So it must not be that great.....lol! What was really the point of this entry? To prove that I am crazy, and random. And I just need to VENT!!